Her complexion was the most attractive feature that caught my eyes when I got to the park. Her hips were so curvy that the act of fornication started pouring into my heart. My stares were too bold. I prayed for her destination to rhyme with mine, and it did. She was in front of me when we joined the line to buy tickets. She had bulgy eyes that caressed my soul. I thanked my stars when her weight sank down beside me in the bus. The ball was in my court. I had to start a conversation.
‘Hi, my name is Tunde,’ I said.
‘I had it in my mind that you were Yoruba… Well, I’m Ifeoma.’
‘Hmm… I feel so glad that I was noticed by such a beauty.’
And the conversation went on. It had been a long time since I held an eye contact with a woman. She talked boldly but had shy eyes. My eyes massaged the fullness of her hips. From the look in her eyes I knew she was getting fed up with my stares. I couldn’t just stop. My eyes fell over her chest. The breasts were disappointing. They were like tennis balls. Her lips were broad. The imagination of a wet kiss in my heart was halted when we met a roadblock mounted by soldiers.
The soldiers wouldn’t let us pass. They wanted a little bribe from the driver who wouldn’t succumb.
‘Oya, come down…’ One of the soldiers ordered the driver.
Before the driver would get out of the bus, a male passenger got out a fifty naira note and handed it over to one of the soldiers…
‘Una fit pass,’ One of the soldiers waved at us to proceed.
As soon as the driver started the car, Ifeoma did the unexpected. She hissed and said, ‘What a shame…’
‘Driver, put off the ignition,’ one of the soldiers ordered.
We were all ordered out. It was obvious that the soldiers had no idea who made the statement.
They ordered the males back into the bus.
I watched from the inside of the bus as the soldiers threatened the women left outside with guns. The women had to point Ifeoma out. My heart was almost collapsing for her. The frequent hardening of my manhood had become as limp as a sick dog’s tail.
They ordered Ifeoma to take off her blouse. They did this with the threat of their nuzzles. She did as she was told, exposing the most sexiest of bras and panties my eyes ever saw. Before the embarrassment, I would pay anything to stare at her nakedness, but here was I feeling ashamed as if she was my twin. They ordered her to get the bra off, which she did in tears. The men with me in the bus stared with greed in their eyes though their hisses sounded sad. It was obvious that the soldiers were not deriving fun from their acts. They asked Ifeoma to get off her undies. She did it slowly, and now I must confess My manhood almost raised its head. I must confess that my eyes hungrily longed to devour Ifeoma’s secret places… Still my heart bleeded…
The soldiers took their time to scrutinize her nakedness before one of them uttered, ‘You said, what-a-shame, abi…? Because of fifty naira…? Your ugly nakedness is the shame…’
Ifeoma was set free to wear her clothes and join us… All through the journey, our discussion never continued. All through the journey, she cried. My lust for her till this day never recovered from coma…
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Myles Idoko Ojabo @julemyles
Myles Idoko Ojabo is a Masters of Creative Writing student at the Auckland University of Technology, and has also studied on the Asia-Pacific Journalism course.
In September, 2011, he was a member of the (Asia-Pacific Journalism) APJ team that covered the 40th Pacific Islands Forum (PIF) conference that was held in New Zealand.Go to Myles Idoko Ojabo's profile, and read more of his/her posts.
Hmmm… @Julemyles, well, your narration is a bit okay, it could be better with a little bit of, eh, style. For someone that ‘idolizes fiction’, yea, you are sure on your way to becoming a good storyteller. Just that your storytelling skills needs a bit of a brush-up, you know, from the way your narration sounds [gosh, I was almost going to mention another NS-person's work, but I restrained myself. Narration in storytelling has to be unique in nature, from the overall tone of the story, the level of your descriptive power and the ability to create a good picture using that power]. That’s why I termed prose-fiction writing as purely experimental in nature, a literary genre prone to amendment.
So now, em, I don’t really know what to call you when you handle the issue of women, because the situation I saw here [public stripping under duress, at gunpoint] sounds unrealistic at first, but then again such a thing can happen. Some would say Ifeoma should have allowed herself to be killed so that her off-the-cuff statement, her brief disgust at the bribery act of the soldiers, would still hold sway. Well, what has happened has happened sha.
Then again, I thought it was the police that are known these days for blatant, incessant bribery at checkpoints, not soldiers. With soldiers, it is very rare.
When I saw the title of this story and the first paragraph, I said to myself: Pfft, kai, Sir Idoko don come again, o! Well, that’s just you, @Julemyles. Keep ‘em coming, hm?
I will praise my effort here because this is the first story I have used my phone to create… My laptop is miles away and I miss her so bad… Emmanuella, when you travel last? I see more soldiers on the high way than I see police these days… Military men can be so crazy at times… Emmanuella, I hope to go to creative writing school, and wish you will serve as my creative writing tutor…
“the act of fornication started pouring into my heart”
Like Emmanuella, I also said Idoko again, before jumping two previous stories to read this. I can’t say I was disappointed, but I believe you could have done better, perhaps it is the medium you wrote this with.
As for the phrase above, I just want to point out that “mind” would have worked better. More grease bro.
thanks, Fred, for reading this… That line you quoted wasn’t okay for me while I was editing… I tried to figure out alternatives but couldn’t… Just had to let it live…
Idoko, a dish full of hard boned, scarred and calloused knuckles for you to chop.i could almost wish this didn’t really happen but even if this is purely fiction, we all know things even worse than this happens. heard their doing stuff like this in neighboring Ivory Coast. thumbs up Idoko, thumbs down for the topic. u dig?
neo-lite, I get… Thanks for reading… And yes, really a dish… Lol.
IFEOMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ifeoma, Ifeoma, Ifeoma, I want to marry u, give me ur love… U sabi dat song? Dat’s wat Idoko has left on my lips… lolz
I’m telling U!!! Hehehehe…
4ran6, this one you dey sing ‘ifeoma’ so, I hope you are not considering her a heroine?
Ifeoma
I want to marry youuuuuu
Baby, I’m serious
I don’t wanna play with you
I don’t mess around
I don’t wanna…..
I wanna settle down
Just give me your love…
‘the act of fornication’ should have been more sensually put. my heart broke with you as Ifeoma undressed but I don”t see that coming from our soldiers except ifeoma was caught in a criminal act, then that might happen. I wonder what was the reaction of the other passengers because you didn’t talk about that. You however took me on a great ride and i was looking forward to ‘something’ happening between you and ifeoma.
Ada, if you have been close to the military before, you will know that they hate being challenged by civiliains…
I did state the nature of the male passenger’s stares..
Nah… Nothing happened between Tunde and Ifeoma ever again.
Love this piece,a nice way of using Ifeoma’s body to high light what is haPpening in the society.looking at it literarily, the “lust in coma” , and ” fallen manhood” would depict how the society today may tarnish the promising dreams and wishes of the youth by its barbaric actions. Guess you and Ifeoma would have had a nice time if not for the “kill joy” soldiers.
kelora, I’m so glad you like this… But it wasn’t me telling the story but Tunde
I like this perspective Kelora.
@EMMANUELLA, this story is everything you said it isn’t, as a matter of fact @julemyles, …this is your best story for me,…true, more beauty could be added but it is far better than the PRESENT PERFECT battles you fought in many of your stories in the past…
i’m actually given you the thumbs up BROVA !!!
thanks for the compliments, xikay…
One man’s meat is another man’s poison..
U just keep improving Mr Idoks. Very nice…
Raymond, thanks.
Honestly? It feels like a recitation more than a story. I don’t know why; i can’t even show you what part(s) of the story built that feeling but…i just did not connect. Or maybe it was the lack of emotion in the narrator’s voice. Dunno.
Is there such a word as ‘bleeded’? I would have thought ‘bled’.
Good one though…despite all the *coughs.
Wild imaginations,but such things happen. Idoko’s depiction is commendable.While reading this,i imagined a certain NS memba(male of course),in this situation,i couldnt help the terror and amusement. Thumbs up.
@writefight,awww…thats not fair,who re you imagining to be in that kind of situation..? Its not gonna be fun you know..lol
Nice……..really nice. Thumbs up Bruh
In simple terms,you just successfully described the vanity and nothingness in our lust.indeed a man’s passion can never resurrect after such experience.our quest for pleasure usually climax and die out when our frail nature is exposed may we all learn from this story.Amen!.well done sir!
I like the story, but I think it could be better with more vivid descriptions and a little bit of heightened language. You know say people dey always wan follow the bit by bit details of what happens between a man and a woman…..
well done!!!
What happened to Ifeoma sounds horrible but I have to remind myself that this is a work of fiction.
Hmmm…Vivid but sterile descriptions. Infusing a bit of anger and passion and belligerence will empower the tale. Interesting story,a true reflection of the reality of travelling in Naij… well done!
Thanks…. If there will be another edition, I will try covering all the potholes…
I like your use of imagery and if it was a deliberate attempt at mirroring the society through Ifeoma’s body and subsequent sexual harrassment, then well done. However, you left so many plots hanging. Your attempt at telling a deeply sensitive story is commendable but maybe next time you should write with a laptop; hopefully, that should give you more room for expression. You did good.
I never wrote a story using a phone until this one… My lappy was out of reach then… I will never try it again…
Nice story, very captivating… you really raised hopes and then… I wish i could plot the graph.
“They ordered Ifeoma to take off her blouse. They did this with the threat of their nuzzles. She did as she was told, exposing the most sexiest of bras and panties my eyes ever saw.” Are you saying she took off just her ‘blouse’ and then you saw her ‘panties’ as well?
I honestly think you claiming to have written this story with your phone is quite a REASONABLE excuse.
Kelora, you’re very perceptive.