Amechi was yet to fathom what gave him new strength that morning. He could barely stand or walk, the night before. He was tired, hungry, thirsty and needed a good rest for days, but that morning something was pushing him.
Those legs of his could take a short marathon if the need occurs. His eyes could sees things farther away. In fact, every part of him was intact expect his belly that kept on announcing its emptiness. The last food he had was five days ago, he had sustained himself on the wild fruits he saw around in the forest.
The night before, he threw in the towel remembering his dead companions and their battle with ndimuo-spirit. He never believed that he would have come this far, as back in the village none gave him much accolades like his companions, who were hosted by some distinguished ndichies with much food and palm wine to drink to stupor. He was left in the dark because he was a weakling with a nickname of umeapia- one with a loose strength. Some men were quick to tell him to forget about the quest and rather stay back to hurt bush rats and squrriels.
“Don’t give in, said Agbomma his mother. “As far as you were called by the Ezemuo,may the spirits guide you.”
The words gave Amechi more courage that anytime he recalls them,he felt some quantum of strength in him. His late father have always told him not look down on himself when others have thought so.
There has been a boy believed to be the true champion of the quest by name olisa. A boy who remained unbeaten in any wrestling contest to his mates. He got the nickname of Azueruani or one whose back touches not the ground. He was a wrestling god. A potential future king if he indeed returns from the long quest into the land of ijeanataghi.
Amechi rememberd all the events vividly as tears like tiny rain drops strolled down his cheeks, but that morning he felt a new strength,hope and courage.He could see the oji tree where according to Ezemuo,where the lost crown was hidden. His heart started beating faster remembering the said ekeogba-the great python that guards the precious crown.
He had lost his matchet to the ndimuo-spirits,but what was pushing him couldn’t let him run or find alternative way to battle the python. His legs won’t stop until he came face to face with the most dangerous reptile he indeed has ever heard of. Fear and anxiety enveloped his inner outer being while his inner being was full of bravery that he saw himself strangled the python with his bare hands. He could see the animal approaching with anger; his feet remained pinned to the ground, which tells him that he has seen his doom. He shut his eyes and stretch forth his hands as the reptile get closer.
He opened his eyes to behold himself sitting on the once empty throne with the crown. He saw people according him royal accolades even the Ezemuo were there with the royal staff of office. His mother stood with tears just clapping as other women joined her. All the Ndichies were smiling and calling him great names. He was still puzzled until the staff of office was handed over to him.
“Igwe!!!!” the people thundered as he danced to the musical lyrics of the egwu-epili master. He had become the king after too many years of sending men to seek after the lost crown.
it’s very nice of you telling a story rich with African Tradition…
@idoko, flattery wont do…story is very good and rich , yes but the grammar is very faulty…please look through again @uchechukwu
Indeed I concur…great story and content but the delivery needs tightening.
I strongly recommend a re-write of this piece. The errors are too many to be overlooked; from mixed tenses to typos, bro, you need to calm down next time when writing and take time to go over your work ‘severally’. I hope you take this the right way, please don’t stop writing, just pay more attention to it.
@uchechukwu, yeah, please stop dont writing, with what i see here, i see you can go very far…just look at this again…tenses, choice of words, even names of characters amongst other things are very important…@scopeman60 has said it all
For me, the story was quite predictable. The transition from the bush to the throne was superb. Pay attention to what the other guys mentioned.
Very predictable indeed. I was actually confused by that transition. More action, like a battle with the python, would have added some spice to the whole story.
I like the concept of the story though, epic adventure..
I ditto the others. Nice story though.
I must confess here,i wrote that under worst malaria fever i have felt in life.All d same,d errors are noted.Thanks@all
good though
Tense confusion has already been mentioned, as has the abrupt transition at the end.
I never really got the story’s context. I can see they were about to go on a quest, but what quest or why they were going on it, I have no idea. You don’t have to spell everything in the story out, but you also should leave enough hints that your readers can make deductions.
As i said before,i was feeling d worst side of malaria while writing this story.Another would better than this.
malaria can make you hallucinate. sound plausible because the things you have written since this piece were great
Malaria? no problem keep up the tempo.
Oh, na malaria cause am! Lol! Good attempt.
na so@writing engineer.
Just read the comment about malaria…that can play havoc with ones mind. I’m sure you’ve made full recovery. Take time to edit and perfect what could be a great tale.
nice one though,since u’ve given the reason behind the mistakes,i take it ,keep it up