I was supposed to be angry but to my surprise, I was calm, too calm for my comfort. He did it again today. He came home late and to make matters worse, he walked into the house with the airs of an important person. Could be he was even expecting me to roll out the red carpet for him. I had got tired of answering, “it’s not daddy”, to all the questions the children posed as cars passed by the house. Sincerely I think it is not funny anymore. I knew before I married him that he was a night rider but I thought that marriage was going to slow him down but I guess I “goofed” there. I served him dinner ( though I would have preferred to call it another thing because it was already past midnight) and as always, his head hit the pillow immediately he finished eating and he was off to dreamland. I stared at him in anger and felt like waking him up. I had waited up for him and there he was snoring away and to my consternation, I was not feeling sleepy anymore. That was when I became angry.
He wasn’t the only focal point of my anger as I was angry with myself too. I was angry at myself for depending on him a lot (like I have to have him around for my life to be complete). I liked the feeling of being needy and on the receiving end but it has gotten old with the passage of time. I was angry that he was living his life and here I stayed home and played the perfect housewife. The scales fell from my eyes and the tears started forming. I rubbed my eyes to stop them but it was as if I aided them and, gushing, they came. I hadn’t cried like that in a long time but I sure felt good after I was done. I got up from the bed, looked at myself in the mirror. The person starring at me was not the lady she used to be. I looked spent with the small pouch forming under my eyes. Yes, spent from being the last person to sleep and being the first person to wake,. Spent from the school runs and constant talking(which comes out as more of shouting) at the kids and above all spent from not taking care of myself. I removed my hairnet, shook out my hair and gently brushed my hair. I sat in front of the dressing mirror and applied some makeup to my face. I took turns wearing my jewelries and admiring myself. It was like a release and immediately I knew what I had to do. I walked out of the bedroom to the study room and ran my hands lovingly over books I had stacked on the bookshelf. Amongst the old ones were some new books I bought but hadn’t made out time to read them. I could start reading them again. Excitement started building up in me as thoughts of what to do flooded my heart. I took the “Black boy” by Richard Wright from the shelf and smilingly went back to bed. I had read it once but it wasn’t a bad idea to read it again. As I laid on my side of the bed, I looked at my husband again and it didn’t matter anymore that he came home late, neither did it matter that I was still awake at 1:25 am. My clock just started ticking. Tick tock, tick tock.
Ada, this made for a very very good read. I know the topic was supposed to be serious but I found myself laughing all through. This is very well structured. Yes, there are issues with it that you will have to look at, and your narrative would do with some tightening, but as a memoir writer, you are very good.
I loved this very much,and I am sure women will relate. Thank you for sharing, will come back to comment surely.
No 1 mistake women make: I think I can change this guy, or marriage will temper his habits.Wrong! What a man has done for close to three decades of his life cannot just be wished away like that.
The writing was very good. It could do with better spacing though, to make it easier on the eyes. Thank God the MC found some kind of respite sha.
Well done!!!
Nice story. Check these:
I had got[gotten, or better still, I have gotten-this is in light of the tense used hereafter, as well as the context of the story] tired of answering, “it’s not daddy”, to all the questions the children posed as cars passed by the house.
I knew before I married him that he was a night rider but I thought that marriage was going to slow him down but I guess I “goofed” there.
I think it would’ve been better if written thus:
I knew before I married him that he was a night rider, but I thought marriage was going to slow him down. I guess I ‘goofed’ there.
A few typos, and U need to space out Ur work. It looks like an excerpt from a textbook. However, it is a good story.
The end, in my opinion, didn’t quite work out for me though…I expected something a little bit more hardcore from her than picking up a book….
Verdict: Good, but this could be so much better. Don’t let off on the gas pedal now. Good luck.
wow, this was a very entertaining read…i ditto @raymond and i wish you did break it into smaller paragraphs to help the reader
Hmm, Ada, you have done well. This made for quite an interesting read. I thank God that everybody is talking philosophy and editing so I don’t have much to add.
But I must say that I am impressed that despite the brevity of your work, you have been able to say a lot. Reminds a book I read on how the Queen of England got so consumed with reading that she abdicated the throne. Na wa o! I am getting the feeling too but Naija is too tough to get romantic especially when you are in the hustling phase. The hunger would shout ‘Guy, who you de form for? Drop that book, go find better thing do jo! Na food go cure me?’
Well done…well done Ada.
Like Raymond says, it would have been nice and easier to read this if well paragraphed. Lovely writing though..
I feel the flow, was very good. Tick tock tick tock all the way.
Nice nice nice. I the flow of your writing.
Several parts made me smile (I like that.
But i expected it to end with a bang, like she resolving to do something more drastic and far reaching than reading a book.
My advice, challenge yourself to by expanding this story. I’m sure you’ll be amazed what you can come up with.
Nice work Ada!
@Remiroy, exactly! I was expecting a big bang, but I wasn’t so disappointed, and I ditto @Raymond too. Well done Ada.
A short but well written story about an inversion point in a person’s life. I like how by layers, you show the many thoughts that go through the MC’s head that drive her to take action. I felt the ending was entirely realistic… new beginnings don’t always start with thunder and lightning.
I am truly humbled. Will really do a brusup course on the use of commas. Hahah. Have taken all points noted and will not disappoint you my dear friends.
The ending did it for me also…I love looking forward to things. Tick tock,Tick tock..