I loved listening to the music as I read. I’m sure the many who have found joy at the bottom of a glass or bottle will understand you better. I also saw that you alluded to the lady as bottle of joy too? LOL…nice descriptions there..

One word, beautiful!

I loved the last lines..

I also liked that you incorparated some popular movies into the narrative. The danger of course is that those who are unfamiliar with the referenced pop culture will be lost.

Brings that song by Brandy and the other by Kirk to mind. There’s another day for all of us in paradise in we can learn to tell the less fortunate to lean on us…

Very spare writing but conveys the message clearly. I was also amused that a lot of the English themselves hardly knocked themselves as we did, as second languagers, when they threw bullets or gbagaun! LOL…

Seriously, online dating is not about dating sites. I’m not surprised some NS peeps are on honeymoon. OK, maybe I am. Already? LOL…

I was also wondering what Kulusors were and now trying to remember if I knew them when I was younger. The story is well told, but I think apart from childhood reminiscence, the issue of homosexuality raised at the end should have been better explored. It appears cut short. I know this is the end, [...]

Nice one, the style of narration kept me going till the end. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with incorporating the dialogue in the narrative especially with this first person POV story telling. So why are you going for many babes and not one at a time. I see say you also tag yourself Ashawo, [...]

@Xikay, I think you’re wrong with where you expect the commas to be. The punctuation for a dialogue comes within the speech marks, in your examples the exclamation and question marks have done the job. If the quote is within a narrative, then you can have the comma after the double apostrphe as in regular [...]

I also envisage a better 2011 for Nollywood. I was able to get in some Nollywood movies in the cinema while in Nigeria. I was wowed by both Inale and Anchor Baby, but Champions of our time (a supposed award winner) left much to be desired. I barely missed IJE, too bad. As for the [...]

Wow, I was caught up in the story. Now some of what really happened is coming out. Nice telling Bob, and hope to read the next one soon.

It’s been a long time Ella, or should I call you mastress? Are you writing again?

Sad and well appointed, I loved the simplicipy and pain in this.

Lovely poem, you made me want to eat from the same table.

That said, some words struck the wrong note. Bleeds (losing life), weary (lack of vitality), weeping (sad), have not place in what I want to feel.

Now, beauty, grace, splendor, elegance, luring, craving, ardor, Yes! Yes! Yes!

Thanks everyone, please feel free to share any difficulties for further discussion if necessary.

Indeed, I have been guilty of not fully outlining a character, and then getting stuck halfway through. An initial characterization would have helped in such a situation.

Those are great additions, especially when writing about relationships. Thanks for that reminder