@Tansi, look at this opening and compare it with yours: The message moved Cynthia with the gentle prodding of a nursing mother encouraging her baby to take its(?) first step. Up until then, She used to think her emotions were dead and buried but no, she was wrong. Not only did she re-appraise her emotional [...]

Ah ah ah! Emeka, the man who dares ‘tombes’ the Pastor’s wife! Nice story. The opening line could be better, it was kinda difficult to read without having to go over it. Lovely descriptions and use of words…slap ejaculated against her face…
Good work bro.
Banky

Igwe,
ah, that match! The hope of africa was crushed with the palms of Luis Suarez…nice musing.

Dr. Tansi,
Stereotypical Nigerian story of salvation. a few typos here and there as well as the plot makes this an ok read for me. the attempt at religiosity is clear but the execution could have been more dramatic, more fluid.
Great effort bro. More.

Guy, Let me set aside the writing style, the story is great. I absolutely never thought it would exactly the way it ended. Mrs Udoh? The Mother-in-law?! Wow! Good suspense and nice pace. You built this carefully and deliberately. In some places though, I felt like giving up on reading but something just prodded me [...]

Nice story, graphic and well-paced. However, the punctuations could be better: Memories of growing up hungry desperate desolate. I grew up knowing that I was an abandoned, unwanted unloved baby. There were nights hunger gnawed at my belly which would growl brazenly as I trolled through garbage for something to eat. It was survival of [...]

Typical girls stuff…nice piece baby.

Thanks man…

Opon ifa indeed.

hmmmnnnn. I like the fact that every entry was rated and the ratings were actually posted on the site. Really, all of us cant be in the top ten. I accept my lot even if its painful that 0.5 points(?) was all I needed to make the last ten. Congrats everyone, but still, it is [...]

Meena,
Yeah.I will work on it like I promised.
Thanks for dropping by.
Kisses

Kaycee,
Brilliant story-telling, good pace, perfect imagery. Besides the typos, grammar construction and some misplaced punctuations, this is very good. I love it.
Good effort bro.

Yeah Mercy, i ditto yo; ‘dump’ looks likely to be ‘dumb’. Good poem bro, nice and direct free verse poetry.
Nice.

No comment(Am I not commenting, really?!), Myne has said all there is to say. Good piece bro.

Oh, na malaria cause am! Lol! Good attempt.

Sueddie,
It is becoming obvious you like action, fast-paced ones. This is good too, a tragedy that gets into the skin. But i think you should take more time on tenses and sentence construction. The POV was well-defined and sustained in this and the plot was plain to see. Message well-delivered.
Good piece.

Sueddie, This looks foreign, probably an offshoot of a lifelong addiction to action movies. It is not really Nigerian. But then, your descriptions, though lax and inconclusive in some places, was good. The story telling was fast, as it should be, and memorable. But pray, what is this all about? A bag containing money? I [...]

Brilliant. The flowing conversations did it for me. Great Gboyega, I’m glad I read this.

Thanks Myne.
ooooohhhhh! The sentence overload, again. *sighs* I’ll change, I promise, I will.
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on this, I appreciate that.
Much Love,
Banky

Xikay, I was just surfing NS and I saw this. Guy, this is a winner! Forget the rhymes we argued back and forth about; you have coined a masterpiece here. I forgive you for leaving me out of the party, I have compensation in the satisfaction I derived from reading this. Guy, come on, chop [...]